To my teenager self In your teenage years life is about a boy who doesn’t see life the same way you do. So your heart aches, you cry and listen to sad songs. …

2 am confession When who I am makes it hurt to breathe I’m not scared I’m scarred When who I see on the mirror makes it hard to live I’m not hurt I’m empty When no one knows I’m not me I’m silence When no one asks I’m not disappointed I’ve disappeared When no one sees I’m not angry I’m tired When no one cares I’m not heartbroken I’m quiet When they are disappointed in me I’m not sad I know I’m disappointed in me too

Your smile makes me smile Your laugh makes me laugh But I haven’t heard or seen it in a while, Not since the day you left

I unlocked my phone in the morning and saw I had a missed call and a voicemail, I didn’t recognize the number so I went to listen to the voicemail: “Hey,” I heard in a soft tone, seemed unsure “I’m glad you didn’t pick up.” …

Some nights are better than others but all of them are horrible. Some nights I just miss you, other nights I miss your soul, a soul that I never really got to know and that hurts even more because you were it for me. You had me, you would’ve known my soul if only you paid any attention but I could never have known yours because you and the person I thought I was laying next to aren’t the same.

Let it be over, let the poison leave your body. Let the distance come in between you. Let yourself feel the distance. Don’t go back because you’re lonely, don’t go back because you miss the way they made you feel. Don’t forget that for every smile there were ten tears…

As long as it felt, you now look back and you catch yourself thinking about how broken you felt and how much you have healed, how much you have learned, how much you’ve hurt, cried, changed but mostly how your heart doesn’t feel heavy anymore, it still hurts but not…

and I still don’t know what was the best part of you leaving if it was the goodbye you didn’t bother to give me as my christmas gift or if it was the pain of knowing that i can indeed feel that i’m human you left and didn’t bother to say anything just like i fell in love with you silently like a whisper but then it turned into a fucking wrecking ball that distroyed everything that was left of me

I swear I can’t make up my mind whether loving you was the best or worst thing that ever happened to me because you often make me cry and i’m not sure if that’s ok and i know sometimes i get too mad about it and you say i’m too…